If you aren't friends with me on facebook (why aren't you?) you may have missed this small announcement.
(taking that photo was interesting... Lets say cheese for a dog is a great way to get her to sit still for 5 seconds and look at the camera)
Life is a real mix of excitement, fear, fatigue, nausea, the love of spring and plenty of distractions at the moment. And momentum is building for the downhill run into the silly season already and this is one roller coaster I am happy to ride.
My study is getting done, but taking most weekends at the moment. I have never wanted to craft this badly before and am feeling like I have achieved limited documenting this year. Yep, that craft to do list is only getting longer and longer. Its overwhelming. Some days I need to remember to breath.
I haven't taken or documented a single pregnancy thing and I feel sad about that. I keep telling my self it will be ok. I will catch up. Each day just blends with the next and you can't take photos of those moments that have now past. I try to remind myself whats important is that I document, in some why, after the baby is born.
I am a list maker. Everything for me requires a list of some description - in my phone, diary, notebook or fridge white board.... Even my blog has posts on my to do lists. I am one of those people that writes things on my list after they are completed, just to cross them off!!! Its the best feeling in the world.
At the moment, more than anything, seeing those lists grow and nothing being crossed of, is getting to me. I may have had a minor break down last weekend but strangely enough, it felt good. It felt good to put things it to words, cry them out, breath and know that once I let it go, I could move on. I started mentally putting plans in place, and know that I can do what I need to. I am mentally strong (and am quietly blaming the hormones).I just need to map things out from time to time..... and ask for help!
Now that is one of the biggest down falls for a stubbornly independent person..... asking for help. I know I'm not alone here!!
I keep getting asked if we are going to find out the sex of the baby. The answer to that questions is a very definite no. This has surprised many that know me well, and how overly organised I am. It surprises me that I am this calm about that decision. Everything about this is just peaceful for me. Do I care if it is a girl or boy, no. Will I have a birth plan, maybe. If I do will I stick to it, most likely not. Will I breastfeed, if my body allows. If not, I know that kid won't go hungry.
I am becoming a realist. Life rarely goes to plan, so why set yourself up for feeling like a failure when that isn't the best for yourself or anyone else around you. Especially when you are only feeling like a failure against those personally set expectations. There are just so many curve balls that we all need to see coming. Not all get hit for home runs, but the way I see it, so long as I see it with enough time to duck, I'm happy.
Life really isn't that bad and Spring weather is certainly helping!
Back to adding baby names to the list, pinning nursery ideas to Pinterest and trying to workout the best brand prams and car seats to buy.....
Note: I believe it is important to share the good and the not so good on my blog. I try to be as honest to myself and real as possible